Since When Did I Become a Two-Timer Christian?

I never thought I would become that two-timer Christian — you know the ones that go to church twice a year on Easter and Christmas? (Sometimes known as a Chreaster or twice-a-year Christian.) I mean, after going to church all my life, participating in the singing group, youth group, mission trips, teaching VBS, etc… I didn’t think I would ever seriously stop going.

And yet… here I am, fresh out of a remote service with no intentions of attending again until December.

Of course, how could I possibly “attend” church when I couldn’t go to the building for fear of the virus (even though I was still risking it all for nights out with my friends). I suppose I could blame it on my total and complete disdain for my old home church’s response to every single political movement that has happened in the past year.

Although, I guess that excuse wouldn’t work either, as this pandemic has made it easier than ever to get in a good, virtual praise and worship service. Not to mention, find a new church home — what with all the recorded services and recommendations available. But instead, I put my actions on the back burner.

Now, I didn’t say I put my faith on the backburner. Don’t get me wrong — I still pray and give God all the praise for the ways he is moving within my life — and I even studied Proverbs with my mom in December...

But alas, faith without works is dead (James 2:17)

Side note: How lucky am I that even with “dead faith,” I’m still so immensely blessed?

And every time I think of these blessings, I know I should do better.

I mean, I want to grow deeper in my relationship with Christ. I’m even reminded of the few months in 2019 when I had transcended into the most spiritual version of myself. With regular yoga and weekly church services (even a Wednesday sprinkled in here and there), I felt more at ease and fulfilled than ever. And for a person with anxiety, I can’t say enough about the peace I felt.

But how do I get back to that? That honeymoon phase? To the times when it felt easy — second nature even — to live as a Christian? I suppose it’s the same way that one convinces themselves to get back on a diet after heavily falling off the wagon…

By just doing it. By studying and praying and simply showing up as I am... imperfectly, but trying.

I know that I can get back to that mindset and dedication, because as the Bible — and Queen Lis (my mom) — says: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6).

So, for now, I’ve started tithing by donating to charitable organizations, taking a moment every day to actually read the Bible app (let’s be real — the scripture of the day), and actively looking around for a new church home (online for now).

I’d love to hear from you if you’ve been feeling this way or even the ways that you’ve been building/strengthening your relationship with God. Feel free to comment, send a message on my contact page or DM me on Instagram! 

After all, these things are always easier to navigate together (like imagine if we made a small group – ICONIC).