My Therapy Experience (+ BetterHelp Review)
Girl, it’s time to consider therapy. Not because of your zodiac sign or your bad habits in a relationship—although those are extremely valid reasons. But because simply being a human is hard, and dealing with the nuances of other humans is even harder, and all those things affect you even if you don’t realize it.
Maybe you don’t need any convincing. Perhaps you’re on board the therapy express. But you’re having trouble actually finding affordable therapy (and don’t get me started on finding a good therapist). Fortunately, I was able to get both with BetterHelp, but not until after a few fumbles…
You see, I really needed therapy back in 2019. I was working on myself with yoga, exercise, and nutrition, but my mental health was slipping. And reasonably so, given that I was going through major transitions of leaving color guard, a connection I had practically all my formative years, while also losing all the people I thought were my friends (and even family at that point) — but don’t worry, it was all for the better.
So, I started my search for therapy…
And it was HARD. It’s like, why do therapists list a certain insurance on their site or their Psychology Today profile if they don’t actually take that insurance? But I finally found one, did a phone consultation, and made an appointment.
And then she GHOSTED me. I’m not joking. I left the work holiday party early to get there, and when I showed up, the lot was completely empty. The door was locked. So, I called and called, only to receive a text about an “emergency” that pulled her away. Even still, she could’ve texted me to cancel. Needless to say, it was not a good look for her or for my therapy journey as a whole.
I put it off for a few more months. After all, finding her was hard enough. I couldn’t imagine I’d find another therapist after all the searching I’d already done.
But I did! And it turns out she didn’t take my insurance. So, I paid OUT OF POCKET for a session that was… less than helpful. Of course, I cried and cried. (I think everyone does in their first session, whether from nerves or a feeling of embarrassment even — no one has a breakthrough in their first session, so that was not the case here either.)
In the end, I just didn’t like her style. She didn’t ask many questions and wanted me to guide the conversation, which might work for some people, but not for me. And it was back to the drawing board.
My Experience with BetterHelp
Then, I found BetterHelp. I’d heard of it plenty of times on Nicole Byer’s podcast, but seeing one of my friends post about it actually got me to go.
You start by filling out an in-depth form about your needs and preferences, and they match you with a therapist within three days. They get pretty specific as well. For instance, you can ask for a Black therapist, female or male, LGBT+ specialty, religious or non — so you get the most understanding from your counselor.
Trust me, I was very nervous I would not get matched, but I did! And it honestly ended up being a pretty decent match. But if you decide you’d like a different therapist, you can totally change after a few sessions.
With your membership, you get 4 video or phone sessions a month and unlimited messaging. So, if you had a rough day or are experiencing a bout of anxiety, you can message your therapist and expect a relatively quick response.
Pricing varies from $60 to $90 a week on BetterHelp, which is moderately affordable when you consider the price of in-person visits, which can range from $75 to $150 per session. You can also apply for “financial aid” every 3 months to decrease your costs even further based on your income. The biggest drawback is that you have to pay monthly, making the price feel much less manageable than if it were billed in installments.
While I felt pretty resolved about the experiences that had led me to seek out therapy in the first place, I did benefit by unpacking some of the things I had been blocking out for years, namely the passing of my dad over 10 years ago. Overall, it was a good experience, even if you just need a sounding board for things you can’t talk to your friends or family about.
When I finally felt I had some resolution or just didn’t have anything to bring up in my sessions, I canceled my subscription. However, if I ever want to pick back up, it’ll be easy enough (and I believe I can get the same therapist — love her!)